How Angela Bassett and Courtney B. Vance Got Out of the Friend Zone — and Have Stayed Married for 26 Years (Exclusive) (2024)

Angela Bassett and Courtney B. Vance met in college, but it took years for their romance to bloom.

“I always thought I was going to get married or maybe I thought I was going to have a kid by 29,” Bassett tells PEOPLE in this week’s Women Changing the World cover story. “But by the time I got to 29, there was no partner, and the career was taking off in a way that I had worked hard for and was really happy about.”

After meeting at the Yale School of Drama in the ‘80s, Bassett, 65, reconnected with Vance, 63, when she was 38 and had achieved success, from her Oscar-nominated turn playing Tina Turner in What’s Love Got to Do with It? to starring opposite Whitney Houston in Waiting to Exhale.

“When I met Courtney, I had known him in drama school, was very enamored of his talents, his gift on stage, and just him as a person, just a real sweetheart, found him to be supportive,” the 9-1-1 star recalls.

But there was a different spark this time around. “What I really loved so much about him was how supportive and engaging he is of everyone,” Bassett says. “That's something that really sort of opened my eyes, and I went from friend to being enamored with him in a different kind of way.”

After a few months of dating, the couple got engaged the night of Vance’s premiere of The Preacher’s Wife, and married less than a year later in 1997. They welcomed their twinsBronwyn and Slater, now 18, in 2006 and in 2009, wrote a joint memoir, Friends: A Love Story.

“From the beginning, he was always just a very supportive partner and he continues to be to this day. And our communication continues to be strong, But it always comes back to, he's always been thoughtful about me,” says Bassett. “His core burns pure.”

Both acknowledge the work it takes to keep a union strong. “It's kindness and support,” says Vance, who won an Emmy in 2016 for his role in The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story. “There are no perfect marriages. It's work, it's understanding, it's apologizing. Our phrase is, ‘If you mess up, fess up.’ If you mess it up, it's okay. Say it, and it'll be done with.”

With their children soon to be college-bound, Vance calls the twins "a beautiful combination of both of us." The couple also acknowledges how come far they've come since their newlywed days.

“I remember early in the marriage you were like, ‘Ah, it feels kind of unstable,’ and me coming from a single parent household, what does it look like?" says Bassett, who was raised by her mother Betty. "Early on I was like, 'Oh, my god, it's not working.' And then he'd be like, 'No...' He's just a very calming influence. [He] puts everything in proper perspective. Just, we can work through anything and everything.”

Calling Bassett a “lioness” when it comes to her loved ones, Vance invokes an old interview with Charlton Heston and his wife, Lydia Clarke. “At that point, they were married 54 years, and they asked Mrs. Heston, 'How's he doing after 54 years of marriage? What's the secret?’ And she said, ‘He's getting there.’” Vance laughs at the memory. “That's it. I'm getting there.”

In 2020, Bassett reflected on her secret to a long-lasting marriage in an interview with PEOPLE. “I think the important thing is that you gotta marry the right person,” she said. “Make sure you're both looking in the same direction, basically."

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And following her second Oscar nomination in 2023 for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Bassett told PEOPLE Vance was always in her corner.

"He understands just empirically everything that I go through," she said. "He can really give me perspective, because it gets very heady and very busy, but he just keeps me very grounded about the important things, that life is good and we're all just doing our best to support each other."

"She's my better half. I don't know what I would do without her," Vance tells PEOPLE today. "And we cover each other."

For more on Angela Bassett's life lessons, pick up this week's issue of PEOPLE, available on newsstands everywhere.