AMANDA PLATELL: We must not expect too much of Kate on her return (2024)

For millions of us hoping to see the Princess of Wales return to public life after her cancer treatment, it was a huge blow to learn she will not be attending the rehearsal for Trooping The Colour this month.

How wonderful it would have been to see her take the salute, as planned, as the new Colonel-in-Chief of the Irish Guards.

And we still don't know if she will join the Royal Family for King Charles's official birthday celebrations on June 15, with the traditional Buckingham Palace balcony appearance. The King would dearly want his 'beloved daughter-in-law' there if possible.

Kate has been out of the spotlight for five months. We miss her. Yet who could blame her if, during cherished time spent with her family, she had re-thought her role as the glittering jewel at the heart of the monarchy?

Might she not have reflected on the relentless pressure of being the most photographed and perhaps most famous woman in the world and decided to step back and become more the hands-on mum she always wanted to be? Last year, Kate carried out 132 official public appearances.

Perhaps she has discovered in the awful circ*mstances of her cancer that she loves just being at home as a normal mum in skinny jeans and wellingtons. I for one would applaud her.

She could do the work she considers important like her charities and early-learning interests from home. It is the modern way.

Of course, we'd like to see her still. But all of us must think about the toll our demands on her may have taken — and re-set our expectations. When she is well enough to re-enter public life, she must do so on her terms.

And whenever and however she does it, a nation will rejoice.

Gary Lineker says he doesn't tweet about politics to argue for change — but only when injustice upsets him. 'I don't do it to try and influence. I do it so I can look at myself in the mirror at night,' says the man with 8.9 million X followers.

Crikey, must be a big mirror to fit in all his humongous ego.

Hannah on a high

Finding success later in life, Emmy award-winning actress Hannah Waddingham, 49, is set to star with Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 8.

And the 5ft 11 in Ted Lasso star warns she can't forget the Hollywood bosses who turned her down in her early career — but are now desperate to work with her.

She tells them: 'Please look somewhere else. I'm human. I remember. Bog off.'

In other words, those execs who snubbed her now face an impossible mission to get her back.

Fans of the original Gladiator movie might be dismayed to see snaps of a scrawny Paul Mescal.

He has just finished filming Gladiator II, replacing the once magnificently muscle-bound Russell Crowe as the story's hero.

Burly Oliver Reed, who played Proximo in the first movie and died mid-filming, must be turning in his grave.

Westminster Wars

• As Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer tried to woo hard-up voters, the PM carried a £750 Tumi rucksack and Starmer wore a £499 hoodie from French boutique label Sandro. Many workers they came across would be lucky to take home that much in a week.
• Having worked with Diane Abbott, and knowing her to be a gutsy MP, I'm appalled at her treatment by Keir Starmer. A letter to The Guardian says he 'demonstrates an appalling lack of humanity and compassion and a vindictive nastiness that is difficult to comprehend'. First time I've agreed with a Guardian reader!
• Ed Davey shoots down a water slide in an inflatable boat to promote kids' mental health, Starmer serves ice creams to punters and Rishi drinks a pint of lemonade in a pub. These idiotic stunts aren't convincing voters — they're irritating them.

Jennifer Lopez launches a ready-mixed Light Margarita — after criticism for promoting an alcoholic brand when she was known for being teetotal. She insists: 'That was true for a long time, but for the last 15 years I did enjoy the occasional co*cktail and I love it!'

She says her Margarita has fewer calories, is made with real fruit juice and is gluten free. Just like J-Lo's fabulous body at 54 after twins — all natural!

Having lost bags in transit to the Qatar World Cup, England's WAGs have hired a private courier to take their luggage to Euro 2024 in Germany, each with an allowance of 200kg — ten times the limit on most commercial airlines. They also want the option of private jets to fly them in if England reach the later rounds. Don't hold your breath ladies!

The truth for Ruth

Sources close to Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford insist he was 'devastated' by the news they were divorcing after 14 years of marriage while he was suffering serious health issues.

Friends of Ruth, meanwhile, say she 'needs to get out and enjoy herself' and she was back at work this week, smiling and promoting her QVC shopping channel, from which she makes a fortune flogging size 18 trousers to 60-something women.

Just wondering how many of her fans, many happily married, will stick by her now she's dumped her husband when he seems to need her most.

The owner who dumped his ten dead giant tortoises in woods has escaped jail. Gary Priddle, 56, left them for a Christmas break, failing to check the heating lamp to keep them alive worked. And Priddle is an electrician! A £199 fine for allowing the death of these creatures, which can live 120 years? Doesn't he know exotic pets, just like cats and dogs, are for life?

My moans about Bridget Jones

Filming of the new Bridget Jones movie is taking place near where I live in North London.

It means lorries full of gear blocking roads and causing noisy traffic jams, entire streets being closed to cars, luvvie pedestrians making a racket from 7am to 8pm for days on end and crews of workers trying to stop us going for our customary walks on nearby Hampstead Heath.

I hate the film already.

In her Channel 5 documentary 'Stormy', p*rn star Stormy Daniels says she's been emotionally destroyed by her one-night stand with Donald Trump — but admits she didn't say 'No' to sex with him.

Not so destroyed, Stormy, that you couldn't give evidence against him in court, where he was found guilty of 34 charges.

The only one who has maintained a dignified silence over this sordid affair, which took place after Trump married Melania, is the former First Lady herself. Although I can't understand why she stays with him.

Viewers give Beeb the bird

Springwatch this week reminded viewers how it showed a nightjar attacking one of her newly hatched chicks — then swallowing it.

Fans of the BBC show said they were left 'vomiting and having nightmares'. Honestly, we tune in thinking we'll be greeted by the joys of spring, not see avian cannibalism.

Horrid creatures devouring their own — just like EastEnders.